Kandee and me, we have things in common.
We both have a baby. We both have been married several times. We both have children from different fathers. We both have a mixed child (I have two actually, go here for more details). We both like to think positive (she does that much better than I do, I like to think positive but I am still a Parisian, so by nature I complain... read more about that here). We both like make-up : she got me addicted to Mac(Cosmetics)'s products and taught me like thousands of other women how to look hot at the beach , how to put make-up on faster than you would eat a bowl of cereal in the morning (or back to school make-up) and how to color my hair at home, which saved me a lot of money. (But just don't try to cut your own hair at home, it's always a deasaster, n'est-ce pas FCC?)
Tonight I read her blog and there she was, all pretty and dressed up to go out (she was invited to some big event). My God, I felt like kissing her! I so much understand how she feels, feeling all fancy to actually get an opportunity to go out for once in so long, without her baby, and to be a woman - before a mother - for a few hours.
Because yes, when you have a baby, you usually stay at home. That's plain reality. At home. In the morning, in the evening. At home on Monday, at home on Sunday. Movies are playing, parties are everywhere, restaurants are full and you stay at home. Not that it is sad - even if at times you do feel a little sad, but you would feel sad about something anyway, that's because of the hormons they say... -, not that it is unfair - you don't go out anymore but no one else but you has got the prettiest baby on Earth -, not that you even feel like doing those things so often (you are waaaaaayyyyyyy too tired), but at times, yes, you do want to have fun outside of your house and without your children.
I have to say that I truly admire Kandee because she is a single mother of 4. For that alone she deserves an award. Having been a single mother (of 1... and I thought it was super tough...) for like 5 years, I can attest that it is far from being easy. So this girl is purely a superwoman, not only did she survive but she seems to have great kids and she is so positive about life.
So tonight I am happy to know that she got out, she dressed up, she put on extra make-up and had fun for a few hours (she said she had to rush back to her hotel after two hours because she had to nurse her baby... I completely picture the scene...)
All that to say that, yes, we mothers sometimes look frustrated and we might get upset for no reason. But yes we need to remain women and we need to have a life outside our children. Yes we need to feel pretty and have occasions to dress up if we like it, yes we need to have other people than our children looking at us and talking with us, yes we need to leave the house to see friends or meet new people, laugh and have fun. Yes we need to do thing just for us.
Writing this, I realize how lucky I am because I live in the center of Paris and just going out to the grocery store can be quite an interesting journey (more about that here), but I can imagine how isolated a woman who lives in a small town or in the middle of nowhere in the countryside must feel...
Maybe that's why so many of us blog... It is like an open window to the outisde world, a way to keep in touch with people when we can't really see anybody except for our family...
That's why, you who don't have children, have to be understanding when you talk with mothers and you feel that all they talk about is their children, pre-school, homework, diapers, baby clothes, vaccinations, nursing and birthday parties (I confess I am one of them... proof here and here and here and here and here and about almost everywhere on this blog!)... Yes they do that, but only because that's all they have around them, this is their world, so don't be too hard on them if you think they are boring... You'll get there too as soon as you have a baby, don't worry!
|... and me...|
|... with my beautiful and priceless reason to stay at home.|