Monday, January 17, 2011

Back to winter and my patchwork family...

Springtime has already gone... The sky is grey today and it is colder. As I was walking to the hospital which is 15 minutes away from our place, I was thinking that I love changes. Changes like the sky which is one day blue, the next day grey and the day after nobody knows. Changes like having a new baby coming, even if not everything is perfect around us. This is how my mind is: always moving in search of happiness, always thinking, always following a new direction, always trying to grow and to be free... I don't want to stand still. As much as I like to fit in society, I also want to keep that wild and untamed part inside of me alive and vivid.

I had a meeting with the anaesthetist, and she told me that since the delivery for my first child was very easy, this one should too. What a great thing to hear! I felt light like a feather on my way back home.

This is the hospital where I am going to have my baby. 
It doesn't look great but the doctors and mid-wives are nice and they work really well. 
Plus, it is really close to our place.

On the photo shoot, on Saturday, I met Momo. She was the make-up artist on the shooting, she is such a nice lady. She told me that my baby will probably be a Pisces and she said that Pisces are quiet, creative and subtle. I don't know anything about the Zodiac signs, but I liked that.
Momo also said that I have a "patchwork family", I thought that was such a beautiful way to describe us. I am going to explain that:

My daughter is part Gypsy from her father, who is from Romania. I raised her many years on my own because her father and I divorced when she was small. He went back to Romania, and now travels a lot, and we rarely hear from him... But the relationship is good. 
I met my second "husband" (we are not married but we love and fight each other just as much ^^) over four years ago. The love we felt for eachother when we met was unreal, it was so special, it was like an earthquake of joy and passion and love. He is the love of my life, the one I had been waiting for all my life. He is African-American but he has been living in France for 25 years. He has three children from his first marriage.
And here we are now, expecting a baby boy, who is going to be half French, half American, half White, half Black, with a sister who is half Gypsy, and two brothers and another sister who are Black. The beauty of colors... 
Yes it really is a "patchwork family" because we created a new family with different patterns (colors, cultures, backgrounds, languages...) and made it unique and beautiful.

It is not always easy to have a "patchwork family". Sometimes I feel that it would be easier if I was living with a man who has the same culture as mine, the same way to think and talk, the same kind of history. Sometimes it is hard to understand what the other thinks when you two have been brought up so differently. But when I look at us, I am proud to say that we are many countries, many roads, many tones and shades. My family is like jazz music. Sometimes it won't seem to make sense, sometimes it will make you suffer, at times it will go in many directions and you will almost feel dizzy and lost. But then we love, and we want to be together, and it is beautiful if you open up, if you actually look at all the colors and melodies that we give together, somehow we find our way to harmony...

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