Sunday, March 27, 2011

A few things you need to know about babies...

If you don't have children and you are thinking of having one, these are 10 things that you need to know... Of course, it won't make any difference if I tell you or not, but at least you will not say you didn't know :-)

1. Babies have a tendancy to sleep a lot which is good because it allows you to do fun things like cleaning your messy house, take a shower, wash clothes, cook or take a nap. The problem is that babies wake up very often, which means that usually you won't be able to achieve anything from the things listed above.
2. Babies eat so often it is ridiculous. Like sometimes they will cry like they are starving 30 minutes after you fed them... Two options here: 
               a. You make them wait (good luck) which means you have to stand the crying and red unhappy face for a looooong time (babies don't stop crying until they have their milk).
               b. You feed them again and pretend your breast don't look like they should retire.
(Option b is only valid if you breastfeed. If you dont, you will not be able to feed your baby as often as he/she will wish because powedered baby's milk is less easy to digest, so I suggest you buy hearplugs and get used to smiling and talking with a sweet voice when all you'll be thinking is "Why on earth did I stop taking the pill?")
3. It's funny how "often" feels like "all the time" when it occurs at nighttime. Like, you have to get ready to say or think things like: "Now wait a minute, it's 4 a.m., didn't I wake up at 2 already?" You will probably read or be told that babies eat about every three or four hours, well let me tell you something: this is not always true, and especially at night (believe a super tired mama who knows what she's talking about).
4. Babies grow fast, and you have no idea how quickly they will outgrow the nice little clothes that you bought them. Unless you intend to have another baby someday, you can say goodbye to the cute pyjamas and adorable little socks that he/she wore like 10 times (I am not joking).
5. Babies can scream much louder than a grown-up person, and usually you will experience this embarrassing truth in the middle of the night (that's it, the neighbors hate us now) or in stores (alright baby, I'm rushing, I'm rushing). Forget about shopping when your baby is screaming like crazy and everybody is staring at you, you will just try to get out as soon as you can. Of course, back home, you will realize that you forgot to buy approximately everything that you went out to get, but it's ok.
6. Babies pee a lot, which means you will have to change a lot of diapers, which means a thousand of buttons to button and unbutton and tons of clothes to take out and put back on. Not to mention that if you have a boy, chances are he will pee while you are changing his diaper, on his clothes if your lucky, at your face if you are not.
7. Babies make a lot of boobies, which means, again, changing diapers (should I talk about the smell?...) and if they don't make boobies, they won't be happy, which means, with babies, more screaming.
8. Babies spit up a lot, which means that you will frequently have to change his/her clothes, which adds to the mountain of clothes piling up near the washing machine.
8' Babies spit a lot, which means that you will frequently have to change your clothes, which means... ok, you've got it...
8'' Babies spit a lot, so don't even think about dressing nice.
9. Babies prefer your bed than theirs, that's a fact. So get ready to sleep with tiny little fists and feet nicely hitting and kicking you while you are sleeping, sounds that don't sound human, baby vomit on your sheets, stiff neck and sore back in the morning from sleeping  carefully.
10. Babies are wonderful. There is nothing more beautiful than a baby. When they open their eyes to look at you, when they smile or fall alseep all curled up against your chest, as if the whole world was there, in the warmth of your breast, you will quickly forget how tired and messy you are. That's how Nature works to make you go through points 1 to 9 without even being upset... 

That's why I am happy today, even with vomit on my clean shirt, even with dark circles underneath my eyes, even with durty hair and a belly that I would not want to show at the beach, even with no time to do anything and no social life. I love my baby and I wouldn't want to be anywhere else than where I am... But thanks God I've got help from my man and a big daughter to help me carry the groceries once in awhile! I know what it's like to not have that and it is much easier when you've got help at home...

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