Sunday, February 12, 2012

memories

Thanks a lot, everybody, for all your nice comments on my last posts. I wanted to answer each and every one but I got so busy cleaning the apartment, I didn't even come near my computer all weekend.


And suddenly, like it happens once in awhile, something brings me back to my teenagehood as if, as painful as it is, I have to somehow keep it in my heart and always remember.


Whitney Houston died and I remember this song, I was 15, I was in love and my main concern was to go out at night. Looking back at the video, I can't believe how we've changed. I thought her jeans and jacket were so cool. There was this boy in our class, Alban, who was really bad in English but super handsome. Anyway, one day I was sitting behind him in class and he turned around and asked me: What does "I'm your baby tonight" mean in French? Oh boy, 5 years of learning English to reach this level of ignorance...


When I was 16, my father took me to New York City, away from the chaos of our home for a week, and it was one of the most important moments in my life. I bought this song and this song there, and they helped me through hard times, when I couldn't sleep at night because life was way too complicated for me. I had straight hair but I wished I had curls like hers, I was bold and rebel, smoking and cursing, but deep inside I wished I were sweet and nice like her. 


Then when I was 23, I remember this song. I was in love (again) and I thought her leather trench was so cool.


Time has passed, and I had forgotten about all of that, hadn't heard about her for a long time until a few months ago, when Earl played her old videos on his computer while we were in the kitchen, late at night, and I was like "Oh my God, I remember this song! Wow, look at her hair! Oh I used to love this one!" She was part of my history, and with her goes a part of my fragile teenagehood. May she rest in peace, and may I keep growing, now that I know you can rebel and be sweet and nice at the same time.



3 comments:

Leen said...

I know! I had forgotten about her a little too, but now everybody's posting videos I can't help but get really nostalgic about my teenage years. I remember singing along to het cd really loud in my room and my sisters making so much fun about this afterwards...one of my trauma's ;-)
may she rest in peace.

Round Circles said...

Oh comme c'est triste qu'une si belle voix se soit éteinte...
Elle me rappelle aussi ma jeunesse,et surtout une amie dont j'étais très proche, qui n' écoutait que par la musique noire américaine et qui vouait un culte à Whitney et Mickael....Très nostalgique tout ça...

un courant d'air dans la maison said...

so sweet ! j'avais oublié ces chansons là... les cheveux bouclés, ah oui, moi aussi ;-)