Saturday, November 19, 2011

My sunshine

I love her and I had the best time with her today. My little girl. My daughter. My sunshine.

In front of the Christmas windows of the BHV, I was happy to see that she was so delighted by the decorations and that the magic of it completely enchanted her. Oh please don't grow too fast.

At Zara, we giggled like teenagers. I know I sound like a 17 year-old when I play silly. Maybe that's why people often call me "mademoiselle".

Then we went to Starbucks and shared a hot chocolate with salted caramel, a pure deliciousness, and a cranberry and white chocolate muffin. We sat on a very comfortable couch and I realised something. I keep running after time, and the more I run trying to do everything right, the less I live. I hear myself say all the time: I don't have time. Not now. When was the last time I really sat on my couch and watch a movie or read a book for more than 20 minutes? Or even 10 minutes? In my pursuit of perfection and total control, I completely lost the joy of actually taking time to sit down and be with the ones I love. 
Lately, I've had a very acurate and painful feeling that time passes by and life is going to end, that one day it will all be over. Lord, does that scare me. But then today I understood that I probably have this feeling in me because I am not living my life fully. I do a thousand things a day but a lot of times, I miss the best in life. My daughter told me that for instance I could spend less time cooking and more time playing with her, or relaxing by doing the things I like. This is the Bree Van De Kamp in me (if you've ever watched Desperate Housewives).

I wish I could have stayed sitting there at Starbucks for two hours. I felt so good and quiet. Then it was time to come back home. When we arrived, my man was cooking. The smell of warm soup greeted us. And then we sat at the table and dinner was so perfect it almost made me angry. Bree Van De Kamp is a man too.


French Cannes Cannes said...

I understand... Why do we do that to ourselves?? Glad you are making time for special moments with your daughter - and starbucks hot chocolates;-)

Madame chocolat said...

arfffff et cette petite pointe de "sens du sacrifice" pour tout faire et tout gérer chaque jour en serrant les dents tout en regardant les enfants si autonomes... le temps passe si vite.